QB- Jerrod Johnson (Texas A&M)
RB- Mark Ingram (Alabama)
RB- Noel Devine (West Virginia)
WR- Michael Floyd (Notre Dame)
WR- A.J. Green (Georgia)
TE- Kyle Rudolph (Notre Dame)
OL- Gabe Carimi (Wisconsin)
OL- Mike Pouncey (Florida)
OL- Nate Solder (Colorado)
OL- Matt Reynolds (BYU)
OL- Stefen Wisniewski (Penn State)

DL- Marvin Austin (North Carolina)
DL- Adrian Clayborn (Iowa)
DL- Greg Romeus (Pitt)
DL- Jared Crick (Nebraska)
LB- Von Miller (Texas A&M)
LB- Bruce Carter (North Carolina)
LB- Greg Jones (Michigan State)
LB- Quan Sturdivant (North Carolina)
DB- Patrick Peterson (LSU)
DB- Prince Amukamara (Nebraska)
DB- Kendric Burney (North Carolina)
DB- Rahim Moore (UCLA)

PK- Kai Forbath (UCLA)
P- Drew Butler (Georgia)

On Thursday night news broke that Brian Kelly had agreed to become the 29th head football coach at the University of Notre Dame. Coming off of two consecutive Big East titles and a perfect 12-0 season, the move came as no surprise to those close to the situation. It was time for Kelly to move to the big time world of college football and it was time for Notre Dame to finally hire the right man for the job.

Kelly’s track record is certainly impressive. Back to back conference titles and BCS births, a 36-4 record with the Bearcats, three time Big East coach of the year, 2009 national coach of the year, two Division II national titles at Grand Valley State, and a Mid-American Conference title in 2006. He is a coach capable of doing more with less and has proven to get the most out of his players. His personality is described as infectious and his charisma has been labeled as something that will allow him to succeed in recruiting on the national level. His game day persona is that of a task master willing to get in the faces of his players and assistants and challenge them to be their very best. He will need all of this to succeed under the golden dome.

The recent history of the Notre Dame Football program is one of bitter failure and consistent mediocrity. For one of the most storied programs in the history of the game, the last 15 or so years have been and abject disaster full of embarrassment at every turn. Even when the program seemed to be on the rebound there was always a blow-out BCS game loss or a defeat at the hands of a service academy to remind the faithful of their rightful place in the current college football landscape.

In the years since Lou Holtz was unceremoniously run out of town the University of Notre Dame has technically had four head coaches, though one never even coached a game. Bob Davie, George O’Leary, Tyrone Willingham, and Charlie Weis all failed to wake up the long distant echoes and shake down the seemingly mythical thunder that once shook South Bend, Indiana. With the possible exception of Davie, an assistant under Holtz who played a big role in him leaving, none of these men started at the top of the list when the job became available. O’Leary only got the job when Jon Gruden fell through- and his lies and deceit led to the hiring of Tyrone Willingham, who did his best to destroy the football program from the inside out. Charlie Weis took over after a very public and embarrassing “no thanks” from former golden son Urban Meyer, and brought some fire and pride back to the Irish, but in the end it wasn’t enough. This time however, it’s different.

Brian Kelly was the target. He was the list. Sure, Bob Stoops was approached and feelers were most certainly extended to Urban Meyer, but those two were pipe dreams all along, and anyone who doesn’t realize that needs to wake up and smell the whiskey. The national coach of the year now calls South Bend, Indiana home.

There are certainly questions to be answered. Can he recruit on a national scale? Can he handle the media attention and scrutiny without saying something stupid? How will his offense translate against the big boys of college football? Can he deliver a BCS quality defense? These will be answered in time. All that is certain right now is Weis left the cupboard stocked with 4 and 5 star talent and Kelly gets the best out of the talent he has. Weis proved Notre Dame could recruit on a national level even with the academic restrictions. Now it’s on Brian Kelly to finish the job and get that talent to play up to its rankings.

Luckily for Kelly and for Notre Dame this hire will be “the one.” Brian Kelly will be the one who returns Notre Dame to glory…He doesn’t have a choice, this is the last chance.

It’s not just about winning at Notre Dame, it’s winning the right way, which is something other fans have never, and will never get. How many Notre Dame alums in the NFL get arrested every year? None. Maybe one every 5 years, and that’s an exaggeration. If they pull some stupid shit in college, they got booted, no matter if they’re a starter or a role player. Rashon Powers-Neil and Christian Fauriea, for instance. There is no “let it side this time” at Notre Dame.

We take pride in the fact that our pros, especially the starters like Brady Quinn, John Carlson, Ryan Harris, Chinendum Ndukwe, Anthony Fasano, and Ryan Grant never get in trouble with the league or the law. Even role players like Arnaz Battle, Maurice Stovall, Dan Stevenson, Dan Santuchi, Darius Walker, Jeff Samardzija (even in other sports), Corey Mays, Victor Abiamiri, Trevor Laws, Tom Zbikowski, David Bruton, Grant Irons, and others. No arrests. No suspensions. Seldom trouble.

Being a Notre Dame fan isn’t easy. You believe in the program and what it stands for. Not necessarily the religious part of it, but the fact that we’re not like Tennessee, we won’t have players robbing gas stations, we’re not Boston College, with its history of thugs, we’re not Oregon, we won’t have a player cheap-shot an opponent and try to fight the fans. You won’t see Golden Tate stick up a 7-11. You won’t see Brian Smith arrested for DUI. You won’t see Jimmy Clausen trying to get into the stands at USC and fight the fans.

Wins and losses aren’t everything at Notre Dame. It’s representing yourself, your fans, and your school in the best way possible. Which is why I would prefer a 10-2 team that does things right than a 12-0 Urban Meyer or Nick Saban team.

Tuesday October 27

8:00
East Carolina @ Memphis: ESPN2

Thursday October 28

7:30
North Carolina @ Virginia Tech: ESPN

Friday October 30

8:00
West Virginia @ South Florida: ESPN2

Saturday October 31

Noon
Purdue @ Wisconsin: ESPN2
Indiana @ Iowa: ESPN
Cincinnati @ Syracuse: ESPNU
New Mexico State @ Ohio State: BigTen

12:30
Nebraska @ Baylor: Versus

1:30
Missouri @ Colorado: FSN

3:30
Florida vs. Georgia (at Jacksonville): CBS
California @ Arizona State: ABC
Michigan @ Illinois: ABC/ESPN2
Kansas @ Texas Tech: ABC
Miami @ Wake Forest: ABC
Central Michigan @ Boston College: ESPNU
Temple @ Navy: CBSCollege

4:00
UNLV @ TCU: Versus

4:30
Penn State @ Northwestern: ESPN

7:00
Kansas State @ Oklahoma: FSN
Eastern Michigan @ Arkansas: ESPNU
Mississippi State @ Kentucky: FSN

7:30
Notre Dame vs. Washington State (at San Antonio): NBC
New Mexico @ San Diego State: CBSCollege

7:45
South Carolina @ Tennessee: ESPN

8:00
USC @ Oregon: ABC/ESPN2
Texas @ Oklahoma State: ABC/ESPN2
Michigan State @ Minnesota: BigTen

Sunday November 1

8:15
Marshall @ UCF: ESPN
——————————————————————————
(Due to my Notre Dame fandom, I don’t include ND in any individual game profiles. Figure I’d save you the homerism.)

Game of the Week
USC vs. Oregon: It’s a rare week that the Pac-10 gets the spotlight, but indeed they do. In a nutshell, winner of this game gets the Pac-10, the Rose Bowl, and a shot at the Title Game. Loser gets the Holiday Bowl. It almost seems weird to picture a BCS without USC in it, but two losses against Pac-10 teams will do that to them and leave the door wide open for a TCU, Boise, Virginia Tech/GA Tech, or Notre Dame (sorry, had to), to grab a BCS spot. Oregon is a team on an absolute rampage since the Boise State loss and the LaGarrette Blount situation. You probably couldn’t have had a worst first game as a head coach than Chip Kelly did that week, but he’s rallied the Ducks since then and has to be a candidate for Coach of the Year if he pull out the win here.

Upset of the Week
Kansas State over Oklahoma. Don’t look now, but Kansas State is leading the Big 12 North. Eee gads. But their pasting of Texas A&M does look a lot better following the upset the Aggies pulled on Texas Tech. Yes, Oklahoma looked very good against Kansas, but this is a team that played in the damned national title game last year, that has resigned itself to its fate and has pretty much mailed it in. Sometimes in football games, it comes down to who needs this win the most. Oklahoma knows where it stands. The Cotton Bowl awaits and life without Sam Bradford begins. Kansas State has a real chance to be in the Big 12 Title game, and a win over the Sooners propels them head-and-shoulders above anyone else in the Big 12 North.

Don’t Touch That Dial:
Temple vs. Navy. Temple is 5-2. Read that again. 5-2. What Al Golden has done with the Temple program is absolutely remarkable. I’ve always pulled for Temple, as I’ve always felt they had the resources neccessary to succeed, but never the right coach to pull it all together. They’re in a major city, play in an NFL stadium, access to PA players and the New Jersey pipeline, are a fantastic academic school, and have been known to have rabid fans if the culture (i.e. basketball) is there. Plus, they’re just a fun team to watch. Temple-Buffalo was one of the best games of the year last year. Just a hell of a fun game to watch. Al Golden loves it at Temple, and he should absolutely be in the same breath as a Greg Schiano or a Turner Gill for what he’s done to Temple. Navy, even without Paul Johnson, is still a dangerous team that’s fun to watch. Really, who can’t watch the Triple Option all day if you’re an old-school fan? Beat Navy, and you’re bowl eligible and you have the floor, Owls. What a year it will be if Temple is in a bowl and Florida State is not. Wow.

Gambling Locks o’ the Week (Except for my upset pick, natch)
Last Week: 1-2 
Season: 7-8

Cincinnati -16 over Syracuse
Colorado +3 over Missouri
Washington State +31 over Notre Dame

Gameday Food of the Week



STROMBOLI!

My stepmom makes the best stromboli known to man. Calzones WISH they were Stromboli. For those of you not blessed to be in an Italian family, picture the best pizza logs you ever had, and make them longer, flatter, filled with more flavor, and heartier. Ahhh, stromboli, you keep me Italian in spite of the gross commercialization of my heritage. Oh, and any true Italian that says they love the Olive Garden should be shot on spot. Being Italian and saying how much you like the Olive Garden is akin to being Irish and talking about how wonderfully Lucky Charms represent your heritage. For God’s sakes. I promise you, wherever you live, there are a half-dozen or more true Italian joints that serve true Italian food that are 1000x better than you’ll find at that place, with better drinks, better wine, and a better atmosphere. Go to the local Italian places, please. For me. My feelings on the Olive Garden can be pretty accurately summed up by this skit from MadTv:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EKZS4Jn6gRM

“There’s nothing we love more then going out for a real Italian meal…but when I get a coupon, we go to the Olive Garden.”


Gameday Drink of the Week



GOLDEN APPLE!

Credit to my dad and our friend Maggie for introducing me to this. Now normally I don’t drink rum. Too sweet for me. I used to be all about rum and flavored vodka, but our tastes change as we get older, and the sweet stuff just doesn’t appeal to me anymore. But, however, Captain Morgan (or Admiral Nelson if you’re on a budget), Goldschlager, and apple cider just screams fall. Fall drinks are the best. Warms you up, gets you into the season, and gets you absolutely crushed. Fall in PA, folks. Catch it while you can!

Gameday Jersey of the Week:



The Meast. R.I.P. Best college player I’ve ever seen. How many safeties do you know can win multiple games for their teams? Sean Taylor almost single-handedly inserted daggers into Florida State so many times, I swear he aged Bobby Bowden in dog years. Fantastic player that was just starting to find his stride and realize his potential in the pros. Godspeed, Sean.

Gameday Pep Talk of the Week:

Fuck the SEC. You heard me. Fuck Tebow, fuck Saban, fuck the fans, fuck them all. I love college football more than anyone else I know, but it’s time for the SEC to sit the hell down, and the time is now. Florida and Alabama have been struggling, LSU isn’t an issue, Georgia is the worst they’ve been in over a decade, there’s no cinderella Kentucky or Vandy team this year. Now is the time to strike. Same goes for the Big 12. Yes, they had a fantastic year last year, with 4-6 legitimate BCS contenders, but the entire conference has been mediocre this year. I’m looking at you Big East. I’m looking at you, Big Ten. I’m looking at you, Mountain West. God, I’m even looking at you Pac-10. It’s time to knock the SEC off their ivory tower this year. Cincinnati, Iowa, USC, Oregon, TCU, Boise State, you don’t have to play second-fiddle to them anymore. Take. Them. Down. Florida and Alabama are just dying to lose a game soon. It’s going to happen. You all need to be on high alert. I cannot stand to see another SEC vs. Best Available championship. Make them pay for their mediocrity this year and make the media eat their damned hats for bowing at the altar of the Southeastern Conference. The time is now. Do it.

Wednesday October 21

8:00
Tulsa @ UTEP: ESPN

Thursday October 22

7:30
Florida State @ North Carolina: ESPN

Friday October 23

8:00
Rutgers @ Army: ESPN2

Saturday October 24

Noon
Minnesota @ Ohio State: ESPN
Illinois @ Purdue: ESPN2
UConn @ West Virginia: ESPNU
Indiana @ Northwestern: BigTen

12:30
Iowa State @ Nebraska: FSN
Oklahoma State @ Baylor: Versus

3:30
Tennessee @ Alabama: CBS
Boston College @ Notre Dame: NBC
Oregon @ Washington: ABC
Clemson @ Miami: ABC/ESPN
Oklahoma @ Kansas: ABC
Penn State @ Michigan: ABC/ESPN
Louisville @ Cincinnati: ESPNU
Wake Forest @ Navy: CBSCollege

4:00
Air Force @ Utah: Versus

7:00
Vanderbilt @ South Carolina: ESPNU
Iowa @ Michigan State: BigTen

7:30
Florida @ Mississippi State: ESPN
Auburn @ LSU: ESPN2
TCU @ BYU: Versus
SMU @ Houston: CBSCollege

8:00
Oregon State @ USC: ABC
Texas @ Missouri: ABC

10:15
Arizona State @ Stanford: FSN
Fresno State @ New Mexico State: ESPNU
————————————————————-
(Due to my Notre Dame fandom, I don’t include ND in any individual game profiles. Figure I’d save you the homerism.)

Game of the Week
Tennessee @ Alabama. Yeesh, this week had such promise before Oklahoma, Kansas, and LSU had rough losses. So now, yes, we’re left with a game of the week that features *shudder* Jonathan Crompton. Eee gads. Yes, he had a good week, but he’s still the unequivocal worst quarterback in Division I-A. Thankfully, Tennessee has a fantastic defense, led by All-World Eric Berry, and a batshit nutty coach, so who knows what will happen? Alabama will probably win 28-3, but it’ll still be interesting to see if the unpredictable Vols, who pushed Florida to the limit, can take them down.

Upset of the Week:
BYU over TCU. Loss to Florida State aside, this is a good team. Just not a team that’s used to having the national spotlight on them. But a team that can dethrone a conference foe at home, ending their BCS hopes? Absolutely.

Don’t Touch That Dial (Game You’ll be Surprised You’re Still Watching)
UConn @ West Virginia. It’s a weak slate of Noon games, and I wouldn’t recommend watching Terrelle Pryor attempt to throw a football to anyone, lest it be hazardous to your health, so let’s watch the past vs. the future of Big East football. Can UConn take down the perennial Big East caretaker and finally stake their claim as the next big thing in the Big East?

Gambling Locks o’ the Week (Except for my upset pick, natch)
Season: 6-6 
Minnesota +17 vs. Ohio State
Idaho +11 vs. Nevada
Temple +3 vs. Toledo

Gameday Food of the Week



NEW ENGLAND CLAM CHOWDER!

“What’s the password?” “New England. Clam. Chowder.” “Is that the red or the white?” “Arrghhaaa! I can never remember that! White?” *door opens*. That’s all you need to know about this great fall food. Screw that garbage from Manhattan. I hate to give the greater New England area credit for anything, but this is awesome. A shitload of seafood in a filling soup form? Awesome. Bring a pot of this to your party/tailgate with some paper bowls and plastic spoons, and revel in it. Ace Ventura quotes while eating it encouraged.

Gameday Drink of the Week



JACK’S PUMPKIN SPICE ALE!

Damn, I love fall. Fall beers are awesome, and this is a goodie. Sure, it’s not a microbrew, you fuggin beer snobs, but it’s a quality fall beer that isn’t too overwhelming (so you and your lady can share a 12-pack), goes great with fall food, and is reasonably priced. Remember, this is tailgaiting/party food and drink. Yes, there are fuller, richer, pumpkin beers out there, but tailgates were never meant for one beer with dinner. You can easily put down 6-12 of these without feeling too full. Viva autumn, friends.

Gameday Jersey of the Week



I’m a fan of most anything orange, and one of my favorite players’ college jersey is no exception. What an animal Barry was in college. Unlike Herschel, he was one of the few that was able to replicate his college magic to the pros. Great jersey, great player. 

Gameday Peptalk of the Week

Well men, the BCS rankings came out recently, so you know where your favorite team stands in the national title hunt. Somehow the Big 12 is still getting the benefit of the doubt despite being HORRIBLE this year. The SEC is having a down year, besides Alabama, and the ACC is still an also-ran after a Virginia Tech loss. So dare I say it, should we root for the Big Ten and Big East? Pete Fiutak, my favorite college football writer, talked about how a Cincinnati vs. Iowa national title game wouldn’t be bad, and would be a great game. I agree. It will have been seven years since either a Big 12 or SEC team was in the national championship game when that time rolls around. Personally, I’m ready for something new. Kirk Ferentz’s rise and fall at Iowa (all the while turning down NFL jobs through thick and thin), should be a bigger story than it is, and Brian Kelly might be the best coach in college football today. So I’ll reiterate Pete Fiutak’s question. Would Iowa vs. Cincinnati be so bad? No, it most certainly would not be.

Thursday September 24

7:30
Ole Miss @ South Carolina: ESPN

Friday September 25

9:00
Missouri @ Nevada: ESPN

Saturday September 26

Noon
Michigan State @ Wisconsin: ESPN
Indiana @ Michigan: ESPN2
Southern Miss @ Kansas: FSN
USF @ Florida State: ESPNU
Minnesota @ Northwestern: BigTen

3:30
Arkansas @ Alabama: CBS
California @ Oregon: ABC
Illinois @ Ohio State: ABC/ESPN
Miami @ Virginia Tech: ABC/ESPN
UTEP @ Texas: FSN
Pitt @ NC State: ESPNU
Western Kentucky @ Navy: CBSCollege

6:00
Florida @ Kentucky: ESPN2

7:00
Arizona State @ Georgia: ESPNU
Ball State @ Auburn: FSN

7:30
Arizona @ Oregon State: Versus
Louisville @ Utah: CBSCollege

8:00
Iowa @ Penn State: ABC
Notre Dame @ Purdue: ESPN

9:15
Texas Tech @ Houston: ESPN2

10:15
Washington State @ USC: FSN
——————————————————–
(Due to my Notre Dame fandom, I don’t include ND in any individual game profiles. Figure I’d save you the homerism.)

Game of the Week (Non-ND Game I’m Most Looking Forward To):
Miami @ Virginia Tech. Sure I’d love to see Iowa romp all over PSU, but I’ll be busy watching Notre Dame then. Miami and Va Tech, the two teams that were supposed to make the Atlantic Coast Conference THE powerhouse in football and crush the Big East. Well that didn’t exactly happen. Sure, Virginia Tech has been a very good team the last 5-6 years since coming over, but that’s more due to an anemic ACC than pure talent. It appears that FINALLY a team in the ACC has enough offense to overcome BeamerBall. The Hokies will still win their share of 16-15 games, but no offense in the ACC has been complete and efficient enough to counter Va Tech’s defense and special teams. Miami may be that team. I know everyone is on the Jacory Harris bandwagon right now, and we’ll see what he can do in the future (Hell, even Kirby Freeman and Kyle Wright had a few decent games). Time will tell, but it’s looking like this may finally be Miami’s time to claim their destiny, and they go up against the most consistant force in the ACC for half a decade.

Upset Pick of the Week:
Texas Tech over Houston. Much thanks to my guys in the NES forums for congrats on picking Washington over USC in this here very column last week. But as they say in college football, every week is a season, so I can’t dwell on that win too much, especially since I got blown out in my Buffalo over Pitt pick. So I’m going with the old guard of the spread, taking on the young bucks. Yes, I’m aware Houston has been running a version of the spread/Run-and-shoot for quite some time, to the days of Andre Ware and David Klinger and so forth, but Texas Tech almost rode that bad boy to the National Championship last year on the back of Michael Crabtree’s batshit-nutty ass. Everyone’s down on TTU. They’re unranked, they lost Crabtree, they’re breaking in a new QB in Taylor Potts, but when it comes to the Texas Tech offense, they don’t rebuild, they reload. Texas Tech under Mike Leach has lost a lot of great quarterbacks, but each new gent under center seems to be better than the last. Even if Potts nearly had his head removed by Sergio Kindle last week, they still played Texas tough on the road and their defense was surprisingly stout. I say TTU crushes Houston’s BCS hopes (unfortunately), and gets back on track.

Don’t Touch That Dial (Game you will, inexplicably, be fascinated by deep into the fourth quarter):
Southern Miss @ Kansas: Two very good teams that you’d probably never imagine you’d see playing each other. USM has been the #2 go-to in Conference-USA after TCU for over a decade. After beating Virginia, this is their chance to make a serious push in the mainstream. Kansas, notorious for having an incredibly weak non-conference schedule (the Penn State of the Big 12, if you will), finally have a load on their hands. This will probably end up being a 28-27 game where Todd Reessing dives into the endzone head-first to win the game and the hearts of Jayhawk nation.

Gambling Locks o’ the Week (Except for my upset pick, natch.)
Last Week: 2-1
Season: 4-2

Memphis -1.5 Marshall
Miami +2 Virginia Tech
Washington +9 Stanford

Gameday Food of the Week

GREEK DOGS!

We’re gonna keep it easy and low-key this week. Whereas ribs require days of prep, these gorgeous things only need 15 minutes of your time. Normally, I’m 100% burgers over dogs, but when there’s cheese, greek sauce, and onions involved, all bets go out the window. Everyone has hotdogs at a tailgate. Spice yours up a bit. Also, seeing girls trying to be feminine and ladylike eating a greek dog, before finally giving up and attacking it a wild animal scavenging their last meal on the plains is freaking awesome. You may have a keeper depending on your girl’s greek dog-eating tendency. Bonus points if she has green sance all over her face and the best way to get it off is grabbing you and kissing you. Girls are awesome sometimes.

Gameday Drink of the Week:

MILLER HIGH LIFE!

When I first got into this whole “drinking” racket when I was 17, this was all my friends and I would drink. My tastes have matured since then, but High Life always has a special place in my heart. The best part about High Life? Besides the fact that it goes extremely well with greek dogs and that greek dogs make you crave a beer in the best way? It’s always a conversation starter. ALWAYS! Between the distinctive bottle, the “Champagne of Beers” motto, the unique fraternity of people who also started their drinking regimine with Miller High Life, there’s always a story to be told. I have met so many people (guys and girls), who walked up to me at a party/tailgate/reception/baptism/funeral/war/circumcision/hospital (some of these may not be true), and said something along the lines of “Hey! High Life! Kickass! There was this one time I was hammered off High Life, and there was this midget…” or “Champagne of Beers huh? What’s the occasion? First day of parole?”, and conversations like those. I still talk to alot of the people (mostly the girls), I’ve encountered while making small talk about The Champagne of Beers.

Gameday Jersey of the Week:

Here’s what’s awesome about college jerseys: I bought this in 2006, when Tom Zbikowski was an absolute animal for Notre Dame. Unfortunately, he had Zach Mills Syndrome and declined every single year he played for Notre Dame. But I had this awesome #9 jersey…so what happened in 2008? Two of my favorite players decided to honor it proudly. Tight End Kyle Rudolph, and DE/DT Ethan Johnson both wear the #9 and represent it well. So instead of my looks of scorn for wearing the jersey of a man who peaked his sophomore year, I know get smiles and high-fives because two fantastic ND players wear it. College jerseys are awesome like that.

Gameday Pep Talk of the Week:

Men, this is what we prepared for. We are now in what’s commonly referred to as a “clusterfuck”. Who’s your Number 1, soldier? Florida? They’ve beaten nobodies and only beat an unranked and rebuilding Tennessee team by 10. Texas? Whose feasted on weak non-conference opponents and just skated by an unranked and rebuilding Texas Tech team? Alabama? Do you really think they’d beat Florida? Miami? After only playing two games? California, Penn State, or Ole Miss? Neither team has yet to win against a ranked team. So here we are. College football is fantastic, and this is why. We have no idea who the best team in the country is, and this week will help to shape that. Florida didn’t run over UT by 50 as we thought. The Longhorns had far more trouble with the Red Raiders then we thought. Florida State beat BYU, Washington beat USC, and now we’re in a state of turmoil. The chaos is what fuels us, men. Every week is a season, and this week may decide who is the lead horse in the race. Not a lot of big-time games this week, but enough competitiveness where we might see some shifts happen. Be on the lookout, I think after this week, we may come closer to knowing who the best in the land is. Or maybe…we’ll get further. YOU KNEW THIS WAS A POSSIBILITY WHEN YOU SIGNED UP TO FOLLOW COLLEGE BALL! NOW LET’S REVEL ON THE CHAOS AND GET WASTED! HOO-RAH!

Thursday September 17

7:30
Georgia Tech @ Miami: ESPN

Friday September 18

9:00
Boise State @ Fresno State: ESPN

Saturday September 19

Noon

California @ Minnesota: ESPN
East Carolina @ North Carolina: ESPN2
Duke @ Kansas: Versus
Louisville @ Kentucky: ESPNU
Ball State @ Army: CBSCollege
Eastern Michigan @ Michigan: BigTen
Temple @ Penn State: BigTen
Northern Illinois @ Purdue: BigTen
Wofford @ Wisconsin: BigTen
North Texas @ Alabama: SECNetwork

3:30
Tennessee @ Florida: CBS
Michigan State @ Notre Dame: NBC
USC @ Washington: ABC
Nebraska @ Virginia Tech: ABC/ESPN2
Arizona @ Iowa: ABC/ESPN2
Utah @ Oregon: ESPN
Tulsa @ Oklahoma: FSN
Indiana @ Akron: ESPNU
Virginia @ Southern Miss: CBSCollege

6:45
Cincinnati @ Oregon State: FSN

7:00
Florida State @ BYU: Versus
Louisiana-Lafayette @ LSU: ESPNU

7:30
Air Force @ New Mexico: CBSCollege

7:45
Georgia @ Arkansas: ESPN
West Virginia @ Auburn: ESPN2

8:00
Texas Tech @ Texas: ABC

10:15
Kansas State @ UCLA: FSN

11:00
Hawaii @ UNLV: CBSCollege
——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

(Due to my Notre Dame fandom, I don’t include ND in any individual game profiles. Figure I’d save you the homerism.)

Game of the Week (Non-ND Game I’m Most Looking Forward To):
Texas Tech @ Texas/Florida State @ BYU: Couldn’t pick just one here. Texas vs. Texas Tech is the more important game, on which Big 12 and National Title aspirations cling, and atmosphere will be intense and it’ll be an offensive shootout. As a CFB fan, you should want to watch that game, and I’m excited for it, but I’m actually more interested in the BYU-FSU game. Think about it, can you pick two DI-A schools that could be more different in just about EVERY conceivable way than Brigham Young University and Florida State University? I mean, any two? Throw in that the game, surprisingly, will be in Provo, where the Caffeine-Free Diet Sprite flows like wine, it’ll be on Versus (who probably can’t believe their good fortune that they landed this), BYU in a freaking national title chase, Florida State appearing to have a decent offense for the first time in almost a decade, and this game offers the most intriguing and fascinating watching experience of the night for me.

Upset Pick of the Week:
Washington over USC: …And boom goes the dynamite. Let’s turn the mic over to USC Head Coach Pete Carroll. Pete? “Terrelle [Pryor] is a special player, but this guy [Jake Locker] is even more so.” I couldn’t disagree more. Terrelle Pryor isn’t a special talent. Oh, but about Locker? Yeah, the kid is fantastic. You don’t get named a captain as a true freshman by being ho-hum on the field and in the locker room. To me, he’s the best quarterback in the Pac-10. Whatever Steve Sarkasian is putting in the Kool-Aid, these kids are drinking it by the gallon and they’ve looked like a brand new team this season. Husky Stadium can get as loud as any in the country and I sincerely hope we get a nice feeding of good ol’ Seattle rain for this tilt. USC is good for one, out of nowhere Pac-10 loss per year, and the vast majority of them occur with teams north of the California state line. I think Jake Locker stakes his claim as one of the best quarterbacks in the game this week.

Don’t Touch That Dial (Game you will, inexplicably, be fascinated by deep into the fourth quarter):
Cincinnati @ Oregon State: Ha! I bet you won’t skim over this profile after I picked Houston vs. Oklahoma State last week, eh? Okay, you probably still will, but regardless, I’m throwing one in here anyway. This game is both blessed and victimized by its timing. It’s the only game between that 6ish-7ish lull, so you’ll tune in and watch it, having every intention of switching over to BYU-Florida State at 7 or Georgia-Arkansas/Auburn-WVU at 7:45, but then you start watching…and you see how awesome the fans are at OSU, and how Oregon State plays everyone tough in Corvailles, and saying things like, “Damn, that little-ass Jacquizz Rogers can scamper!”, “Wow, Brian Kelly is one helluva coach!”, “Pike has one hell of an arm!”, “How Does Oregon State mass-produce so many talented white guys?”, and next time you check your cell phone (because nobody checks their watches anymore), it’s almost 8:00. It’s happened to me many-a-time with these two squads.

Gambling Locks o’ the Week (Except for my upset pick, natch.)
Season: 2-1
Georgia Tech +4 Miami
Georgia PK Arkansas
Virginia +14.5 Southern Miss

Gameday Food Of the Week:

RIBS!

Sweet mother of Mary. One of my favorite parts of tailgaiting with my dad and uncle at games. The damned ribs, delivered on high from Peter himself, who took nary a nibble, but declared that if he was, indeed, human, he would sacrifice eternal paradise for one succulent, savory, juicy barbequed rib. While that story may not be true, it does make for one hell of an acid trip. What’s not to love about ribs?! It’s maybe the manliest of all manly food. Like Jim Gaffigan said, there’s no way to look anything but barbaric when tearing into ribs, and that’s what we love! It’s man at its most primitive, tearing the meat from our fallen enemies, but also man at its most evolved, having the patience and wherewithall to prepare the meat days in advance, using a cultured blend of spices and sauces. It is, in a nutshell, what it means to be a man. I have a three-foot erection right now.

Gameday Drink Of the Week:

MICHELOB!

Michelob often gets lost in the shuffle of domestic beers, and it’s a damned shame. Nowadays, the world “Michelob” often triggers beer-drinkers’ brain with the tagalong word “Ultra”, which scares away men, much like talking to a girl and noticing a discernable cold sore. “Wow, is it 11:25 already? Man, I gotta go home and…ummm…wash my….ox…nice meeting you!”. That’s where the younger, or less-experienced ale-swiggers fail. Remember last week when I said it was too late for summer beer but too early for the dark stuff? POW! Michelob is there to nuture you and transition you. Full-bodied taste that you can still down a 12-pack of at a tailgate with no ill-effects like feeling you ate an entire oak tree (looking at you, Guiness). Great tasting, reasonably priced, and look at that bottle. Class all the way. Do yourself a favor, eschew your homeboys with the Miller/Coors/Bud Light trifecta and stand out with a few Michelobs.

Gameday Jersey of the Week

I have a feeling if I was an SEC fan, I’d Roll Tide all day. Love this jersey, got it on the cheap, and since the Montana did me no good last week, it’s time to switch gears. Apologies, Bama fans if I cost your team against North Texas this week.

Gameday Pep Talk of the Week:

How you men feeling? Rested? Good. Last week was a fun little appetizer, pretty tasty, except for us Irish fans. Sure, there were some good times last week, but now the dogs are hungry to eat. SEC, ACC, Big 10, Big East, Pac-10, stand down. This is the Big 12′s week. Sure, Eric Berry vs. Tim Tebow will be fun, and I myself picked the Huskies over the Trojans, but this week belongs to the boys in the middle of our great country. Texas and Texas Tech will try to top their classic from last year, Nebraska tries to prove its resurgence against the top-dog in the ACC, Virginia Tech, Oklahoma faces a terrific Tulsa offense, and Bill Snyder’s Kansas State team heads to the Rose Bowl to try and stop UCLA’s momentum. Big 12 fans, soak it in. This might be your only weekend you have before the media goes into “SEC-OR-DIE” mode. Soak it in, and don’t let us down.

Thursday September 10

7:30
Clemson @ Georgia Tech: ESPN – Sorry boys, not when the Stillers are on.

Friday September 11

9:00
Colorado @ Toledo: ESPN

Saturday September 12

Noon
Fresno State @ Wisconsin: ESPN
Central Michigan @ Michigan State: ESPN2
Iowa @ Iowa State: FSN
North Carolina @ UConn: ESPNU
Duke @ Army: CBSCollege
Eastern Michigan @ Northwestern: BigTen
Syracuse @ Penn State: BigTen
Western Michigan @ Indiana: BigTen
Troy @ Florida: SECNetwork

3:30
Notre Dame @ Michigan: ABC
BYU @ Tulane: ESPN2
Houston @ Oklahoma State: FSN
Texas @ Wyoming: Versus
TCU @ Virginia: ESPNU
Louisiana Tech @ Navy: CBSCollege

4:00
UCLA @ Tennessee: ESPN

7:00
South Carolina @ Georgia: ESPN2
Vanderbilt @ LSU: ESPNU
Air Force @ Minnesota: BigTen
Illinois State @ Illinois: BigTen
Mississippi State @ Auburn: SECNetwork

7:30
Kansas @ UTEP: CBSCollege

8:00
USC @ Ohio State: ESPN

10:15
Purdue @ Oregon: FSN

10:30
Utah @ San Jose State: ESPNU

11:00
Oregon State @ UNLV: CBSCollege
——————————————————————————

(Disclaimer: As a Notre Dame fan, I don’t include any ND games in my profile games or picks. Thought I’d save you the homerism.)

Game of the Week (The Non-ND game I’m most looking forward to this week.)
Penn State vs. Syracuse – I’m not picking Ohio State-USC because USC is going to blow them out, Terrelle Pryor is a hack, and all you’re gonna hear about for the next week is that game. I’m going a different direction. I hate Penn State. HAAAAAAATE. Living in Pennsylvania, it’s ALL you hear about and you’re automatically expected to be a Penn State fan and build solid gold statues of Joe Paterno’s moldy ass in your front yard. Ugh. And being a Notre Dame fan, hooo boy. I could marry a shank-wielding, puppy-clubbing, transvestite named Bob and I wouldn’t have any more grief bestowed upon me by my family. MY POINT IS…I don’t care for Penn State. For many reasons. One of those reasons is that they constantly, year-after-year schedule cupcakes on their non-conference slate. Even while their brethren in the Big 10 like Ohio State, Illinois, and Purdue, just this year, have scheduled difficult non-conference games, they still continue to schedule the Akrons, Temples, and Coastal Carolinas of the world. Every year,. I eagerly wait for one of these creampuffs knock them off and FINALLY make them pay for their pussydom. And it never happens. A few close calls, but dammit, none of these weaklings can get the job done, and PSU, of course, cruises into their conference schedule undefeated and rankings darlings, natrurally. Of course, seeing how god-awful Syracuse was the last few years, they JUMPED at the chance to schedule them. But then something weird happened last week. Syracuse wasn’t Syracuse. They took a very game, improving, Minnesota team that was the surprise of the Big 10 last year to overtime. Greg Paulus looked pretty sharp, having not played football since he was 18 damned years old. Arthur Jones and the defense was very solid, minimizing Eric Decker and Minnesota’s offense. “Oh noez, Luke! But what about the crowd! The scary, scary crowd!”. Please. Beaver Stadium will be NOTHING to Greg Paulus. Have you ever been a hated, white, Duke guard in the ACC? I wouldn’t be shocked if he starting cracking up during Zombie Nation. This will be nothing. For God’s sakes, visitors used to wear FAKE BACNE when JJ Redick came to town. He’s been through it all. I’m hoping finally, FINALLY, someone teaches JoePa and crew their lesson to finally grow a set.

Upset Special (Fuck the spread, these underdogs are gonna win outright.)
Buffalo over Pitt – Never, and I mean never, assume Pitt is going to easily take a winnable game. Quite possibly the most inconsistant team in the country over the past decade, whenever Pitt starts reading a little too deep into their hype, they get squashed and have to pull themselves out of a hole. I think Turner Gill, despite losing heart-and-soul QB Drew Willy, finds a way to get this done.

Don’t Touch That Dial (The game you’ll be surprised you’re still watching late into the fourth quarter, yet you can’t help it.)
Oklahoma State vs. Houston – BOMBS AWAY!

Gambling Locks o’ The Week (Aside from my Upset Special, natch.)
USC -4.5 Ohio State
Purdue +13 Oregon
Toledo +4.5 Colorado

Gameday Food of the Week

NACHOS!

Whereas the grilled meat is a big tailgaiting food, I give the reigns over to my absolute favorite stadium food, the loaded nachos. A multitude of tastes and textures from south of the border assaulting your tastebuds like the Spanish Armada. In every scoop, tender ground beef, spicy shredded chicken, gooey nacho cheese, smoky refried beans, refreshing sour cream, tangy onions, man-affirming jalapenos, and maybe if you’re feeling guilty, some shreds of lettuce testing the strength of the crunchy, salty, tortilla chip. Perfect gameday food. Every stadium is different in the way they handle their nachos. The basement basic is the nachos cheese over the chips. Meh. The next level is the chips, served with cheese and a taco sauce-like contraption. Not terrible, little variety. Then you slowly work your way up to the beloved “LOADED NACHOS: $6.50″ counter. Maybe my least favorite stadium has the best ones I’ve ever had. Ralph Wilson Stadium in Buffalo. Awful stadium, fantastic nachos. Oh, and if your stadium doesn’t have the jalapenos in the little condiment kiosk, your stadium doesn’t have SHIT!

Gameday Drink of the Week

BLOODY MARY!

So it’s too late in the season for Margaritas and Mexican beer, but too early in the season for whiskeys, bourbons, and dark beer, it’s still 85 degrees out, for God’s sakes. Plus, you’re still not in midseason form when it comes to waking up early on Saturdays for gameday. What to drink? Bud Light? Yeah, that’s an interesting read. The beer can wait, start your day off with a fine Bloody Mary. A fantastic kick in the ass at 10:00 AM when Corso, Fowler, and Herbie come on your television or great to sip on while you’re unloading your tailgate supplies for the day at 6AM. Starts your day off with a bang and you still get some fruits and veggies in your system. Your mom would be proud.

Gameday Jersey of the Week

Oh you’re damned right I have a replica of this. Now it’s horrible luck to break tradition with the jerseys, so I’ll wear this bad boy, a homage to my favorite Non-Notre Dame college player ever, Oregon State WR Mike Hass. Then the throwback Bro Montana goes on for the Irish. Never mess with a winning streak, even if it is one game. Stay thirsty, my friends.

Gameday Pep Talk

Wow. That really escalated quickly, didn’t it? Between Sam Bradford’s shoulder, Michael Floyd’s feet, Navy’s heart, and LaGarrette Blount’s fist, that was a pretty memorable opening week, eh? Well, breathe easy, men. The football Gods have given you a breather this week. A few good matchups, one epic matchup, and a good amount of quality games. We just had five days of football, men. FIVE DAYS. We’re all a little frazzled, sometimes it’s nice to have a little reprive in the action to catch our breath. So now you’ve seen it, men. This week, well maybe not as hectic, will at least be more consistant with its action. Most of the cupcakes have returned to DI-AA (no FCS here), and we start getting past the skin to the meat. So now you have time to prepare for it. We got the first week out of the way, men. You now know that maybe the leftover Taco Bell for breakfast to calm your nervous stomach wasn’t your best move. You now can gauge your girlfriend’s reaction to a College Saturday and know if she might be the one or not. You now know why call Moonshine “Death in a Jug” (SEC Fans Only). The hangover from the last five days should just about be kicked by the time Saturday rolls around. So let’s do what we do best, men. Eat, drink, and watch the SHIT out of college football!

** Rankings are based on player’s NFL potential and not college football performance.**